


Like Water

by mxjessiebee



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Bisexual, Coming Out, F/M, Illustrations, Other, Pride 2020, gender fluid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:20:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25011541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mxjessiebee/pseuds/mxjessiebee
Summary: Hilde has a secret she has to tell Duo...My entry for the Gundam Wing Pride 2020 event that was hosted via wingqueero.tumblr.com! Contains 3 watercolour illustrations!
Relationships: Duo Maxwell/Hilde Schbeiker
Comments: 6
Kudos: 12
Collections: 2020 Gundam Wing Pride Event





	Like Water

**Author's Note:**

> Lmao only rated teen because there is a humorous mention of dick sucking at one point. On a more serious note I was anxious for the longest time to sort of "come out" with my interpretation of Hilde being gender fluid. Both because I know die hard hetero shippers might not be too keen on me portraying her as a man or agender or anything but her perceived assigned gender, and also because sometimes even within the LGBTQ+ community characters (and even people irl) who might appear cis and/or hetero on the surface can be accused of "not being queer enough" to be part of the community. ANYHOW, please enjoy.

That first kiss had simultaneously made her soar to the moon and filled her with dread. He didn’t know the truth about what she was…how was he going to react when he found out? Was he going to get upset and accuse her of lying to him? She hadn’t slept peacefully in days and knew she had to tell him. Hilde had spent the better part of those last 3 nights cuddled in his arms feeling like a fraud. 

It was time to let him know her most hidden secret.

Duo wasn’t doing much of anything when she entered the living room, just lazing about on the couch watching some brainless sitcom and looking mere minutes away from falling asleep. He perked up immediately when he realized she was standing in the doorway, nervously picking at the hem of her shirt.

Switching the tv off he sat up and made some room for her. “…you okay? You look worried.”

Hesitantly she took a seat next to him but kept her distance. Drawing her knees up to her chest she briefly hid her face and breathed deeply, try to fight back her tears. This was absolutely terrifying. “Look, before the relationship goes any further I feel like I need to tell you the truth…”

Blinking in confusion Duo tilted his head to the side like a puppy. “Oh! So, you really do have 12 toes?”

Hilde sighed and rolled her eyes. “...Duo, you’ve seen my feet.”

“What? They could be tucked up in there somewhere!” He playfully poked one of her socked feet and she swat him away.

“Duo! I’m serious! This is really hard and really scary for me…”

“Scary?” The grin faded from his face.

Hilde’s eyes darted around the room and her heartbeat quickened. “I-I don’t want you to think I’ve been lying to you!”

“Hey! It’s okay.” Duo reached out to put a reassuring hand on her shoulder but she jerked back. “Look, whatever it is I’m sure it’s not a big deal.”

“It is for me!” Hilde shouted suddenly, her cheeks turning red and her eyes blurring with tears. Duo swooped in with some tissues from the coffee table and dabbed them from her face as the floodgates broke and she just sobbed.

Letting her sink into his chest Duo kissed her head and rubbed her back. “You gotta tell me what’s up. I can’t help you if you don’t say anything.”

Hilde mumbled something behind a tissue and sniffled.

“Hil? I didn’t hear that.”

Hilde shuddered. “...not a…girl.”

“Hmm?”

“I-I’m not a girl.”

There was a moment of complete silence. Hilde had no idea what he was thinking and she held her breath.

“Oh? Is that it?”

Wiping her eyes with her sleeve Hilde pulled away from him and spat. “What do you mean, ‘is that it’? That was really hard for me to say!”

Duo simply shrugged and smiled. “Yeah, I can see that! But if you recall I am not the straightest pin in the cushion so if you’ve been all worried that you not being a girl was gonna ruin this relationship, well you’ll have to try another tactic!”

Feeling like she’d been holding her breath for an eternity Hilde attempted to breathe normally again. God, she both hated and loved how relaxed he was being about this. “Well, maybe I should finish explaining…”

Duo handed her another tissue. “Go on…”

Accepting it she blew her nose, balled it up and tossed it at him and he just kept smiling like it was no big deal. “Like, okay. I am a girl sometimes, like today! But I often have days where I don’t feel like it all aligns and I wished I looked more like you or maybe something in between? I don’t know, it’s hard for me to articulate it sometimes. Probably because I’ve never actually told anyone.” Hilde anxiously scratched the back of her neck. Even if he accepted it was he really going to understand?

“Well, is there a name for it?”

Hilde thought back to those sleepless hours of searching online, hopping around forums under a fake name and asking questions to people older and wiser. “…gender fluid seems to fit a lot of what I feel. Like, my identity isn’t still. It’s always moving and changing, like water.” She shifted her eyes up to see him just starring affectionately at her.

“You almost make it sound poetic!” Duo stood up and with a hand around her waist brought Hilde up with him, gently kissed her forehead and looked straight into her eyes that were still a touch red from crying. “Listen. I love you. Okay? I don’t care if you’re a boy, girl, whatever. If you come to me 10 years from now and tell me you want to change your body? Don’t be scared to tell me. I love YOU, all of you. No matter what. Do you feel a little better now?”

“Yeah, I think so. Ugh, I can’t believe I cried over this. I feel stupid.” She buried her face into his shoulder and totally smeared some snot on his shirt.

“No! It’s totally okay and not stupid at all! Coming out can be a super scary experience.”

Hilde frowned and flicked the end of his nose. “Apparently not for you! You were just like casually like “oh, so I’ve sucked dick before and it was awesome” when you told me you’re bi.”

Duo laughed and shrugged. “Eh, I’m just like that! Now, tell me something here Hilde…if I’m talking to someone about my totally hot partner what do I call you?”

“Hmm?”

“Like, pronouns. I’ve been saying she and her this whole time.”

In truth Hilde hadn’t put much thought into it, most of her energy had been expended worrying about whether Duo was going to reject her or not. “Oh, well. I think I’m mostly indifferent but I guess if you want you can use something neutral when it’s strangers? Or I’ll tell you myself if I want you to use something specific on a particular day.”

Duo put his hands on her cheeks and squished her face a bit. “Awww! We can have a cute little morning pronoun report!”

Through pursed lips Hilde squeezed out “you’re a fucking dork, Maxwell.”

Hilde had to admit, the whole thing had gone rather smoothly (minus her crying and panicking). Why she’d gotten all worked up and assumed the worst she’d never know. But one thing was certain: She was finally going to get some sleep (and she was loved).

**Author's Note:**

> About the last image: The story was originally going to be longer but I was depressed and didn't have the energy to go through with it. But there was originally going to be a scene where Hilde was trying on a binder and some more masculine shirts in a change room with Duo being supportive and just gushing. So, this little doodle is basically a cute little remnant of that.


End file.
